My Support Forums - View Single Post - 8yr old boy ADHD

Nams · May 12, 2012, 10:54 AM

(((farmergirl)))I have had some wonderful teachers in my life and my kids have had and do have them, right now. My son had a fantastic teacher who totally understood him and brought out the best in him, that I see at home. She left for maternity leave and a new to the area(very young) teacher was brought in and he just doesn't seem to know what to do. Mr L is a great teacher just stumped as to how to help A, also he is in a new environment in a small town school where certain teachers (the same 3 I have had problems with all over A since day 1 - seems to be the same as what you mentioned in your post, they know better) in that school where all buddies in HS. The one in particular one I am having the most issues with is an EA who seems to think that she is the be all and end all of all answers that she and only she knows what’s right.
As far as I know the same mandate is in place here. The way it works here is he has an EA who he spends time with everyday for about 1hr along with 4 other students at the same time. She is for all intensive purposes the Teachers Assistant...not as far as I know trained in specific disorders/conditions all they need is what I found below.

From an EA in Ontario information site:
Qualifications and requirements
Minimum requirements are:

grade 12 and experience/training in working with young people is stated as minimum requirements in some schools. However, college diplomas in the human services field including Early Childhood Education (ECE), Youth Care Worker (YCW), Nursing or Nursing Assistant (NA), Educational Assistant (EA), etc. are preferred
Proficiency in one of Canada's official languages - English or French.
English is the language of instruction in the majority of schools in Ontario. French is the language of instruction in some schools.
good interpersonal and communication skills are essential, as are energy and enthusiasm for the job

Aiding students with special needs usually requires specialized training and experience:

college diploma or university degree in a related field of study
experience dealing with children with a variety of physical and intellectual disabilities and behavioral or other learning difficulties
a broad knowledge of child development as well as some teaching experience

Depending on the place of work, other special skills and training are useful, such as:

fluency in other languages
knowledge of sign language
non-violent crisis intervention training
proficiency with Braille
experience providing health care

This woman is making up all the rules about how my son is dealt with....following within of course the set guidelines

.
He has an IEP(individual education plan) which involves lessening his workload, office visits, emotion flash cards and bartering with him. All of which I see as getting him & them through the day, letting him avoid things he doesn't want to do as EA quote = "They Do not want to deal with his behavior’s"....frustration, feet stomping, breaking pencils and crying. At home I do see some of these behaviors but a lot less than at school....I do not allow A to make the choice of playtime then work, it’s the opposite with me. I feel that her in particular is taking advantage of the "We can't do that!" excuse....they are not allowed any level of hands on (not hitting) an eg is stopping my son from leaving the building and heading up the road. They are not allowed to use bossy voices with the kids eg (Your work needs to be done - instead he hears - We should get your work done, she writes for him)...I understand truly I do why some of these rules are in place but the truth is it has tied the hands of genuinely wonderful teachers who really do want the best for the kids but are not allowed to do certain things that would help and giving others the excuse to be lazy.
It has gotten so ridiculous my daughter when in G2 hugged a crying Kindergartner, who had fallen and scraped her knee, my daughter got a reprimand and a note sent home for Hands ON.
My son is as far as I am concerned a normal little boy with a brain that is just too busy for him to control and I am lost as to how to help him. I want to tell the school that I want someone who is specifically trained to deal with so called "LD" so that he is getting what's best for him, not what get's them all through the day.
From day 1 I have done everything they have asked and listened to every word they have suggested. I have stood there near tears being told I was feeding him wrong, he wasn't getting proper sleep(his bed time is 7pm) generally what I was doing wrong and I would cry myself to sleep for days. I had myself convinced that everything I was doing for my kids were the wrong things and that I was the reason A was having so many issues. Then I started to wonder if I suck so bad then why do I not have these same issues with my other 3....(2older 1 younger than A) That's when I started to stand up and say No there is something more going on here. I pushed for testing had/have him in counseling (he still goes when he asks to see her). Finally I got some answers but the school is still treating him and myself the same as before. I am frustrated and overwhelmed and feel that my input means nothing as Parents are know nothing as they are not educated in child care, as if 12yrs of raising them isn't an education" which I honestly believe this woman is convinced of. The same EA has been around since the beginning and I have always shown her respect and been polite but she really has not earned it.
This EA is very arrogant and apparently has been the same way since public school my husband knew her and says she hasn't changed that arrogant know it all attitude.
She is so arrogant that in our last meeting she monopolized the conversation. I kept asking the teacher and the principal what their thoughts where and when they tried to give me an opinion she would interrupt them and they allowed it. With Mr. L being the teacher I think he should be doing all the talking and she (EA) should just add her input when requested.....or am I wrong. The teacher I think needs to be the primary not the EA. Even the principal kept deferring to the EA, the whole conversation like she needed her approval. I am so grateful for teachers who actually do care about the child and their education. I am frustrated by those few like her that care more about the paycheck and proving their smarts.
Thanks to you specifically for your response and of course for your job as a Teacher your job is a very difficult one I understand that. Especially dealing with so many different personalities and the ever changing class sizes, requirements and education mandates.......my four are all so different and each have their challenges, specialties and methods for doing things and that is work enough to encourage and adapt for each of them lol and I love them dearly.

No need for apologies for the length of the post I am pretty good at that myself lol
Hugz Nams