High anxiety levels today. Had to be honest with someone, which meant rejecting him (hopefully in the nicest way possible) as a partner. This might partly be my phobia of relationships, but I think it also wouldn't be right for me - feelings, instinct etc. tell me that. I just hope he won't freak out or do something crazy. :-( Not feeling good now, but I had to be honest and if it was in an email. Just because I want to be with someone, I can't really be with someone who it doesn't feel right with.