I can so totally relate, jaypop. When I was in the throes of my mixed episode this past winter, it took every bit of energy I possessed just to squeak through the day at work. It took so much out of me that there was nothing left for my family when I got home, and as soon as I could I'd get on the computer and under the headphones, so I could listen to my iTunes while zoning out in the various Internet forums I visit every day. Then it was bedtime, a few words of conversation between my husband and me, and lights out.

Lather, rinse, repeat.

Anything you can do to get out of that vicious cycle would be worth it, whether it's meds, reducing work hours, finding a different therapist or pdoc, whatever it takes. Good luck......I've been there, done that and wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. Take care.