I've often found that when I can find the courage to share with T the hardest things to say in terms of our relationship--I'm angry at you, being embarrassed for feelings of wanting her to be my mom--I've left these sessions feeling proud of myself and it actually has brought us closer. For me, it's totally fear that stops me: fear of ruining the relationship and forcing her to act differently (I feel like I've ruined so many in the past), fear of rejection, and fear of abandonment. Sometimes when the problem has been my reacting badly to something that she said, I'll find out that she didn't mean it at all the way I understood it or she'll apologize.

Good luck! I know it's hard, but you can do it!