I have been so depressed for so long I almost forgot what this feels like but you know what? I am happy!!

Unfortunately it's not because I've been working really hard at self-help stuff or progressing in my therapy or anything like that. I just met someone and felt an instant click with them.

There have been only about 4 people who are my support system of friends right now. I have been so lonely I've OD'd on therapists. I paid one guy just to have someone to talk to for an hour so I could relieve some of the burden on my friends and it still wasn't enough.

I was having suicidal ideation as recently as tonight. Now I feel all !

I know I have to go slow but I have already told him a bit about my struggles with depression and he didn't run away. He told me about his recent messy divorce so I guess it's clear we both have issues, eh?

But wow. Just wow. For the first time in 6 months I think I have actual happy chemicals running through my brain that are NOT caused by some artificial substance! I'm not even gonna drink tonight. I'm gonna eat something instead. Something good for me. I can get through the weekend now.