Thank you both 
Doctors check my thyroid regularly because my symptoms always fit some sort of thyroid problem..But it's always fine.
I refuse to give up, thanks for the encouragement 
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“Love life more than the meaning of it?”
"Certainly, love it, regardless of logic as you say, it must be regardless of logic, and it's only then one will understand the meaning of it."
Fyodor Dostoevsky, The Brothers Karamazov
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