I've been there. It is really hard. Do you mean, hatred towards yourself came over you? That's what happens to me when I have done similar things to myself. If so please know that I see you as a beautiful person, who is not deserving of that kind of hatred. Or did you mean hatred of someone else? If that was the case maybe you could look for things to do to express your anger in ways that don't harm you like journaling, punching pillows, exercise, etc. I am thinking of you and hoping you are feeling better today.