happy, I'm right there with you. My mother is totally narcissistic and was horribly abusive when I was growing up. More recently, after my father's death, she gave each of my sisters an expensive antique vehicle (my younger sister received two), gave my brother in law very expensive guns my dad owned, and told me if I wanted my dad's little truck, I had to buy it from her. She knows that my younger sister and her husband stole from me, and that my brother in law said incredibly cruel things to me, but doesn't "want to take sides" and said, "he's just like that sometimes" in response to my brother in law's cruelty. BUT, I am the horrible daughter because I do not come by to see her, when she lives with my sister and brother in law. OH, AND she deeded her home and all of the land to that same sister and brother in law, so they actually own the house where my mother lives and my sister told me not to come by. BUT, I am STILL a horrible daughter because I told my mother that if she wants to see me, she needs to call and tell me when my sister and brother in law aren't there. And she tells everyone we all know what a horrible person I am.

So, my point, I guess, is that you are not alone, and it isn't you, it's HER. You do not owe anyone an explanation. If you are pressed, tell the truth. She's an abuser and she continues to be untrustworthy and you do not have to continue to willingly suffer abuse. When your mother chooses to be honest and not abusive, she can contact you to apologize and you will decide at that point what to do.