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Thank You very much Perna for your time and reply.
I never meant deserve a job in the way you may have taken me. I only meant it in the way of sometimes I am made to feel like it would have been better if I was killed in the car accident 6 years ago. I let these thoughts/ feelings leeks into what I think generally about my existence and living a life in general. Ok, so I don’t really help myself out in regards to behaving or doing things to not be like this. I get anxiety, I think anyone would. I know both of these are no excuse for myself. However it’s hard not to think well may be it would be better to just not live and do anyone a favour. Or even concentrate on what I am meant to be doing or have a better mood then the one I am normally in. Of course this then strengthens me making silly mistakes and not holding a job down but it’s a cycle that’s hard to break.
I understand what you mean about thinking of it like school and you’re right and it does make sense. I never thought of it that way. However you can see I let things leek into one big emotional mess and it’s hard to do the simplest of jobs when I am like that. I sort of can’t make anything work at the moment but I know it’s not just going to work like that for me. Hopefully I can sort myself out and not be another youth who doesn’t help themselves out. Thank You once again for your comments, I think I understood where you are coming from, sorry if I didn’t.
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