Bathony...please, that's not true. You're far from the things you've said about yourself...you're not to blame if he stopped contacting you. That is on him, and only him. It's nothing that you've done. Please, try not to return to self injury. That's not a good way to handle this, and you can run the risk of infection in the wounds.

Do you have any way to contact him at all? What was your last contact with him?

Please know I'm here if you need me...you can PM me at anytime.