This. (And she probably has BP too, among other problems which I now see as the likely explanation for her hypercritical and oppressive issues. Anyhow!) I also believe that my basic nature and lurking BP contributed to my reaction to it. My sister had the same upbringing. She does not have BP, we have different natures and she turned out completely different --self-assured in navigating the world of "normal" and achieving in steady progression. Like you, I'm told I underestimate how damaging it was,. I say, "It was what it was." I don't feel towards it. For instance, I cannot for the life of me understand people being upset and pining for love from someone simply because it "should" be so. As in, parents. I simply don't see the point. Why would I wish for what someone cannot give? It isn't there, and any title someone wears does not change that. Again, "It is what it is." Why waste time and energy on something that cannot be changed? One aspect I acknowledge the effect upon is in not really being able to form close and trusting relationships, or having the ability to reach out for help. Haha, where did my point go? Rejection sensitivity? I haz it. And that's a BP trait that can really take a beating in such an environment. I expect nothing and assume rejection as the way it goes. C'est la vie.

Back to insecurity. In terms of functioning in the world and being able to "play the game" and understand how people do "normal" and the assumptions that flow from that (ie. doesn't "everyone"...): A resounding YES. In fact, I can be confident in the fact that "secure" in this realm will forever elude me.

In terms of the type of insecurity that needs constant praise or any other kind of "neediness", fitting in, being accepted etc.? : A resounding NO.
Been orbiting my own planet for far too long for it even to occur to me.