All I want to do is sleep this all away. Wake up one day and just forget any of this happened. Go back to the way I was just two weeks ago.

But going to sleep scares the heck out of me. Being awake scares the heck out of me. Being alone is petrifying. When I am alone, I call anyone and everyone I can to see if someone would just come sit with me...

I'm afraid of car rides, I'm afraid of everything and anything. I can't shake the feeling. The boiling inside. The constant 24/7 shakes. I can't get rid of the memories. I can't get rid of the fear. They have me on medicine, but they work less and less with every passing day. I wake up every 1-2 hours shaking. I feel a constant vibration in my chest.

I'm a wreck. I see a T on Tuesday, but what good will that do? They can't take away this fear. I don't know what to do... I'm afraid of everything. It's so scary and so sad to be afraid of even being alone. Showers... Yeah they get worse and worse by the day. Images of me falling and busting my head open on the shower makes it nearly impossible to get in and makes me rush to get out.

I'm not depressed but I am scared. The hospital keeps asking if I'm depressed. I'm not. I am just petrified. Horrified... It's so scary....