((((jkristana)))),

I am sorry this weekend was not helpful to you. Sorry to say that what I warned about your father not understanding HOW to TALK to you instead of what he does is the way it is. Unfortunately some parents simply are ignorant, they don't truely know how to communicate and raise their children. Some parents are like your father, they are only what they know, which in many cases is only how to be abusive sometimes.

There are no classes demanded of parents so they actually LEARN how to parent, so they go only on what they know, how they were raised and often that was poor. One would think that at this point in our evolution, with all the technology we have that we would finally recognize that parents need direction in how to raise their children.
Right now what we have are councelors in schools where some students go when they don't know what to do or feel they are being abused somehow.

As I mentioned, YOU cant change your father, it will take someone who is a PROFESSIONAL who can point out to him that his behavior is abusive and he is not really being a responsible father.

I sat down with my own father as I am now an adult and my father told me that he really didn't know HOW to be a parent. He told me that what he felt was important was that his children behave, get educations and speak good English. He realizes now that there were other things he failed to do as a parent. My father was the one who handed out spankings and punishments and we were afraid of him. I can see that hasn't really changed that much from when I was a child growing up.

It seems like you are thinking that your father will not listen to anyone and will only punish you more. But when you go to talk to a guidance councelor, the councelor is there to help YOU. Do you have a guidance councelor at school? If you do and you express that your father may hurt you more if they speak with him, they will know what to do.

You have not said how old you are, it sounds like you are in high school? Your goal is to do the best you can in school, graduate, see if you can go to college and get yourself away from your father. My brother did that and believe me, he really struggled in college but he did it and got out of our home as quickly as he could and it was the best thing he did for himself.

At least you know how NOT to be as a parent and have something to think about if you ever have your own family some day.

Please keep coming and let us know how you are.

((((Hugs))))
Open Eyes