Bathony,

Nobody's perfect, right? Right.

So, why can't this entire issue be your (ex) boyfriend's problem? Maybe he's not good at tending to his relationships, and they fall apart. That's not your fault. If he looks down upon you for the pain that you've been through in life, than he surely doesn't deserve your love and sympathy.

Maybe you should stay away from men until you have developed a little bit of self-acceptance. Instead, jump into your studies, artwork, or volunteerism for a while. You'll develop some skills and not an absolute sense of self-hatred and disgust 100% of the time. You do deserve better ~ believe it or not. Yes, you do.