I have in excess of a dozen coworkers in my area at my worksite, and none of them are really friends--not in any real sense. I think of that old saying: Business and friendship don't mix.

Building a good, strong friendship takes work. Business, if you take your commitment to it seriously, is difficult. Mixing aspects of a real friendship with issues that arise in the work place risk feelings being roughed up and business motives mixed with personal agendas.

I don't date coworkers, I seldom ever have a meal outside of work with one of them. I do my job and do my best to bring a good attitude to the workplace. I try to show respect where I can and to do no harm to those I work with--but I don't expect my coworkers to understand my personal needs.

In fact, I've gone out of my way to make sure that I never look for any sort of support at work, even indirectly. I never talk about myself in a personal way--my moods, family problems, health issues if I can avoid it. No one's business.

That's just me.

But I really would encourage you, misskeena, to follow shezbut's lead and focus less on your coworkers' opinions. Don't you think their own agendas, job issues, and insecurities will always interfere in what might obscurely be perceived as nominal "friendships" with them?