Wow. I really relate to everything you just wrote, right down to having reasons for wanting to resist meds while trying to work through other possibilities.

This all came to a head at my T appointment yesterday. T has three PhD's and a zillion (possibly a slight exaggeration on the zillion) degrees and thirty years helping people. So when he said with a bit hesitancy that I have "extremely severe anxiety" and my issues appear to be very complex, it wasn't what I was expecting to hear at all. (He was very warm and encouraging, but I've been feeling a bit blue the rest of this weekend over-thinking what he said. I mean really, he's seen how many hundreds of patients in thirty years and my issues are giving him pause...yikes. I keep hearing "extremely severe" in my head and it just makes me sad.) I totally understand your description of your conversation leaving you reeling. I think seeing how you feel in the morning sounds like a really good idea. My husband is always reminding me to take life "Five minutes at a time." I'm living in my five minutes right now. I'll take the next five when they get here.

{{hugs}}