If you don't mind, what ED behaviors do you have?
I restricted but then went into recovery. Now I'm a binge eater :/ I get hate hate hating this cycle.
You are never beyond help. There are different schools of thought on eating disorder treatment, maybe you just haven't found the right one yet.
Eating disorders are nothing to be ashamed of. I used to tell people I had been hospitalized for a heart condition, but now I just tell the truth.
I think having people in your life that know could help.
Until you're ready, there's always us!