Here's a big red flag I missed, and therefore ended up married to my first husband.

Let's say he finds out that a certain something gets under your skin, hurts your feelings, or frightens you. Then he goes out of his way to do exactly that, and laughs at your reaction. Example, he knows you are afraid of snakes, so when he finds one in the back yard, he sneaks up on you and scares you with it, because he thinks it's funny to watch you scream and hyperventilate. This person is NOT the love of your life. He is an abusive creep.