Thank you all for the encouragement. This is the first time I have reached out for help and support. I am finding your words very therapeutic and understanding. As far as me having a counselor to address a wide range of things, the answer is no, I do not have that. I would love that type of help but I can't afford it. And for the question about fibromyalgia, I don't have that either. What I failed to mention in my post was that I did finally get a diagnosis of sorts. My physical therapist actually figured it out. Basically the whole right side of my body is smaller than the left side causing a leg length difference. This has caused my pelvis to tilt in order to compensate for the difference, however the right half of my pelvis is much smaller than the left therefore the leg length hardly changes. This is causing a number of problems, 1 my spin has a bit of a curve 2 my muscles are constantly working to bring my body into semitry , my body wont go into semitry. I also have learned to use the wrong muscles to function with, and many of the right muscles possibly have never worked. All of this comes from a 3.5mo early birth. I weighed 1lb 11oz and had a number of physical defects. I guess there were some unknown problems that are now haunting me.
Basically there is nothing much they can do. We started doing PT to correct what we could but that seemed to do more harm than good. When we started to straighten some of the alignment issues I developed LOTS of pain i'n my neck that was not there before and now 2 years later it's still there and as bad as ever. So needless to say I quit Pt.
I hope this makes sence, again it's random thoughts and poorly written.