Dear T,
I've been thinking about this song alot...

*I don't know if I can yell any louder (screaming inside)
How many times have I kicked you outta here (I put those walls back up)
Or said something insulting? (I worry I do this)
I can be so mean when I wanna be (feelings of selfishness and guilt for not doing what makes others happy)
I am capable of really anything, I can cut you into pieces (Defences if I get hurt maybe but you can hurt me worse & deeper)
But my heart is broken (and I am broken too)
Please don't leave me (I hate myself even more for asking you but...)
Please don't leave me
I always say how I don't need you (I tell myself this and push you far away)
But it's always gonna come right back to this...
Please please don't leave me*

I hate how I don't want you to leave me but sometimes I wish you would, I deserve it