Good question! My 'dependence' evolved. I think it was my ability to let myself depend, plus my therapist's willingness to allow me to depend, and then the period of dependence, that ultimately resolved my need to depend. It was distinctly parent/child-like. I spent about a year and a half in that state, without any pressures to 'get out' of it. From that feeling of absolute security, though, emerged a maturing of 'self' that enabled me to take risks with other 'outside' relationships. I started to develop other relationships. Bit by bit, I needed contact between sessions less and less.

I remember my therapist telling me, during a conversation where I expressed angst about feeling dependent, "I'll know you're getting better when you don't have time for me" followed by a warm smile.

Nowadays, I still see her weekly, but when I do, I'm often telling her about difficult events that took place, and it usually involves me reaching out to relationships I've developed while in therapy, and it has been those outside relationships that provided the immediate support and facilitated the resolution of whatever crisis I was having. My therapist hears about it after-the-fact.

So from my foxhole, it's being able to be dependent that leads to independence. The healing of parental neglect.