Got my courage up this week and reminded T2 of how, at the end of our last hour, she had leaned forward and looked at me with brilliant eyes. I really must tell you, she said, how much I enjoy meeting with you. There was so much intensity coming from her that I could feel the push of it. She continued, You come every week… you work hard… you always know what you want to talk about… there is no… “how about [that ball game] yesterday”… you stay focused… “ there was more, but I lost some of it because I was bowled over by a feeling of unreality.
I said, imagine someone coming to your house, T, the place you have worked so hard on to make into a very personal space, a reflection of yourself. “Wow, I really love your house,” they say. And as you wonder how much they have taken in of what there is of YOU in that space, they give you their reasons: “It has a front door! AND a back door! And walls and floors in every room!”
I don’t know if she understood what I was trying to get across. Does this make sense to you?
Although it was immensely shaming and difficult, I told T where I thought she was headed that day, what I thought she might say next, but never said. And even when I put the words in front of her, she just let them lie there.
From a recent PC post >> it's never good for any client to be the favorite or even to believe he or she is the favorite regardless of how good or how healing it feels at the time.
Maybe that’s what I was after. Well, I don’t doubt that she meant what she said, and I don’t doubt that she meant it as a compliment, but if it is possible for a compliment to be totally non-personal, I guess that was it.