Hi Cocoabeans,

It sounds like things are very rough for you right now. I'm so sorry that you feel the way you do. But remember, just because you don't want kids doesn't mean you're a horrible person. You are not less of a person or less of a woman. There's actually actually a Mother's Day PostSecret secret about just that.

I know you don't have much money, but I would think about going to a doctor. If you're stressed and underweight, that can stop your period. Be honest with the doctor and get the help you need. I'm not sure where you are, but there might be aid programs available to you to help cover medical needs, food, and housing. Going to a doctor will at least put you mind at rest about pregnancy and talk about your options and what would be best for you.

I am concerned that you're not taking care of yourself. But these are things I struggle with myself, so I'm not sure I can offer any advice. The only thing is perhaps making a list of the basic things you should do every day and take joy in crossing them off. Just don't be too hard on yourself when you can't cross them off.

Please take good, gentle care of yourself.