(I'll re-write because my yet-to-be-moderated reply got lost)

By she I mean Angel. We broke up yesterday. As usual, we were having a great time, when she thought of the bad things again. She started crying, and I got sad. Probably this is what made her take the decision, she didn't wanted to continue hurting me, even though she was/is suffering much more. So she said that it's the end for her, a painful end, but at least an end, compared to the lingering what she had with me. She still loves me a lot, and she tried to fight by ignoring what she thinks of me and Brenda, but I think she is just not strong enough, and gave up. Maybe for herself, maybe for me, it doesn't matter.

I don't even want to tell you how I feel, because you've read thousands of similar threads already. I just don't know what to do now. Everything in my life seems so soulless. Even the things I can do without her, they have no meaning at all, they are cold, and stupid "tasks" I get done, instead of the colorful and happy moments. I don't know what to do besides just sitting at my PC at work, thinking of this, then going home and crying. Even though I've never experienced something this painful, I know how this goes, time heals the wounds, I have to get distracted, and I'll move on. It's just I'm afraid that I won't find someone like her. There are lots of nice girls, whom I can like, but she has something special, not the normal kind of nice. Is that worth fighting for? What weapons do I have to solve the root problem, and not the symptoms? And if she's the one with the problems, do you think it can happen to other things in the future? Because we both think that this is something bigger, so it's justified somehow.