I have this fear of being dependent too. I fight against myself when sending emails to T even though she keeps telling me it's ok. I dont think I'm dependent as I could imagine walking away today and being ok with it. This is probably cuz I have yet to really even let my T in. I have been sending more emails recently I.e. one to two a week the last few weeks. It still causes me anguish to send but I know I won't tell T otherwise. Such a struggle.