I'm with you on this, Nightsky.

When my therapist told me she saw attachment issues in me, I thought she was nuts. I was very proud of my self-sufficiency and independence. She stayed 'after' me though.. kept talking about icky things like her goal that I become attached to her. As it started happening, I kicked and screamed all the way, terrified out of my mind. The regression I felt was just awful for my proud, independent self . However, my therapist took all of it as natural.. always made me feel like however I experienced all of it was exactly how I was supposed to experience it. Her ease and warmth led to me relaxing into it.. and once I really accepted my dependence on my therapist.. and experienced her as always being there... always responsive.. always caring.. interspersed with human failure (for example, me texting and her not getting it till the next day, and me feeling absolutely certain that I had been rejected - but really her battery had died and she didn't know it)... any way, that kind of thing provided lots of opportunities for me to experience myself being "held" in the relationship. She never went any where. She was always steady... always the same... always there... not a "perfect" parent.. but absolutely "good enough." I healed within that context. I became whole. On the side where I started, it was terrifying.. but from where I am now and looking back, it was an amazing journey that provided what I never got at the beginning of life - the thing that is so essential to us developing into stable people.

As much as I initially feared it, looking back I love my period of dependence. My therapist did such a good job making me feel loved and cared for. I got what I needed. The difference it made is nothing short of miraculous.