I spend most of my time on the depressed end of the spectrum. I doubted my BP diagnosis for a long time because I didn't think I'd ever had a manic or hypomanic episode, although looking back with 20/20 hindsight I can see a lot. Then I went on this last mania for about four months. Some of it was fun while it lasted, but the suicidal crash back into deep depression at the end was pure hell. That was two months ago and I'm still nowhere near back to "normal" yet. I think I'd almost rather have the depression, at least I know what to expect. The mania still scares me.