I think that's exactly what he meant. IF he wanted a relationship, it WOULD be with you. There is a difference between what someone wants, and what they are capable of. Fear is a strong thing. i really see him changing his mind as a fear response. He is only trying to get you to leave... hmmm... I have done the same thing in the past. Not in this context, but similar things. If you stay, he will have to deal with his emotions, ones that quite possibly seem impossible to deal with. If you leave, well, that makes it easy for him to say, "Another one left. everyone leaves." and he won't have to deal with it. At least for me, that would be true. I'm willing to bet, that he may have added those other girls on whatever site you talk to him on, and you had to watch it, but I bet that he NEVER intended to do anything with them. It was a technique. One to make you go. Or, one to see if you would.

Once again, there is a difference between what someone wants, and what they are capable of. I have serious abandonment issues too. He might as well. My bipolar started around the age of 13. It's bipolar II. I grew up with it undiagnosed until this year. I am 33. I did a lot of the same things he is doing. Before, I would do them because having someone do what you are doing gave me hope, and hope hurts. Hope means I would have to try. Have to address what was happening, and that would have been impossible. Plus, when someone gives up, truly gives up, like I did, they can not have anyone around believing in them. That hurts too.

I bet what he is doing is finding shallow, flirty types who get off telling him what he wants to hear. Who allow him to escape in their words. Who give him enough sexual attention that he can distract himself with. It's like a drug sometimes. Instead of drinking to forget your problems, just call sally! lol. Apologies to anyone here with that name. I am in no way trying to connect that name to anything bad. I'm just trying to give an example.

If you really like him, and you are willing to wait, just make yourself available. Make sure he knows it. If you are not going to leave, then don't! If you are, then go now! He will test you. He will push you away. But if you stay, he might learn to trust that. Make sure he knows that. But don't be that constant call that he dreads picking up either.

I don't know why you would want to do that for anyone. You could just find someone who is not damaged you know. I kind of get it though, my wife did the same thing for me.