I push myself VERY hard. I can't quite get away from the belief that I need to sit down & throw everything out on the table so that I can efficiently sort through it with T. I'm ready to do the work, nothing should hold me back, right?

Sometimes this works. My T has commented that I work very hard & that he can tell a lot of thought goes into the questions I ask him.

Sometimes it doesn't work. I tried giving my T a letter telling him some tough stuff. He tried to discuss the letter w/me and I totally shut down. I didn't want to shut down but I spent nearly an entire session unable to talk. I was pushing myself too hard - I can't go that fast. I still wish I could though. I get frustrated with myself. I can tell him stuff in my head, but then I get in the room and I don't say half the things that I would like to say.