You have sacrificed a lot, OE. You put others first before yourself.

You put your husband first, you put your daughter first (I know that is a parent's job to some extent) AND you had to be there as Mom and Dad for a bit, too. Also it sounds like you are/were breadwinner.

And you've had serious health issues.

And you've had TREMENDOUS loss with your beloved horses / ponies.

And to top it all off, you have to be reminded of all this pain on a constant basis with the legal stuff.

My dear ((((OE)))), you need peace. You need someone to take care of you. You need a break from the pain. It's just been one thing after another. Of course you are exhausted and miserable.

It's time to get off the rollercoaster and to give yourself a break. Be kind to yourself. Be gentle with yourself. You've done nothing wrong BUT put everyone else's needs ahead of your own.

(And that's OK, it's who we are by nature), but I think you forgot to replenish yourself along the way.

Some day you are going to look back on all of this and shake your head and exclaim, "Oh my gosh. I was sooo strong. I cannot believe I made it through ALL of THAT."