My heart goes out to you. big time. I understand and feel what your questions hold.
I have those same questions but have not the bravery you do to raise them. Those questions and your response to the answers are so deep and so important.

Your T is being very fair in his answer. And I know that is the same answer my own T would give! For example, if for whatever reason I had sx transference towards my T when he gave me hugs and he was not able to work through it with me - if I had strong resistance and was determined to think to myself that my T was hitting on me by giving me a hug, well I know he would have to not hug me. But that would be for my own mental health. It would be wrong for him to keep on hugging me in that situation. But to hear that type of an answer would trigger me at a deep level! I know the truth, but I don't want to hear it that way. I want to hear that nothing I could ever do would cause him to stop hugging me.

Allow yourself to work with your T on your feelings around this communication.
There are wounds around these fears that you are now ready to face. It will be very hard work for you, but you CAN do it!