Dividing it up to keep one post from getting too long.

Finally, if your partner says to you, "I'm no good for you. You're better off breaking up with me and finding someone else," believe him/her, and do exactly that. Don't chalk it up to merely depression and poor self-esteem talking. Yes, of course it is, but that's not the biggest problem. Unless that person is in therapy and benefiting from it, you will spend the rest of your life with him/her offering help that will be flatly refused, trying to dig your partner out of ruts that he/she will insist on staying in. Don't be stuck in a relationship where you are constantly playing therapist for your partner.