(((Jenn1fer82)))

I've also pulled away from my family, due to the pain and anguish that's always brought up inside of me. My mom is settled in her ways. Ways that I am simply unable to accept anymore. I wish that it didn't have to come to this. I feel like a horrible daughter and I seriously dread the day that my own daughters feel this way towards me. It's a horrifying fear of mine!

That said, I have sent a couple very bland eCards to my mom, to make myself feel a little less guilty. My motivation was not to make my mom feel good. Instead, guilt was my motivation. I don't know if that's a good thing, but it did help me feel a little bit better about myself. I won't call her. But it doesn't take much time or effort for me to send an eCard.

Perhaps that may be something you'll want to try and see if it helps you. Leed is correct about us needing to let go of our resentments ~ that is what hurts us even more. I am still unwilling to forgive though. That is a fact that I am aware of & perhaps you are as well. IMO, it takes some time (and maybe a sense of acceptance) to let go of the resentment that we feel and allow ourselves to forgive those that hurt us. For me, not an automatic response.

I've got to let my big inner walls down first. And that's a scary thought!