I am very insecure, now more than ever because I put on a ton of weight due to all the medications over the years. All the beautiful clothes and sexy clothes that I have I just stare at in the closet of memories of 50 pounds ago. Yeah there are diets and things I can do, but honestly I just don't feel like it. When I was manic, the world was great and I lost all the weight really fast. Now, that things have slowed down and I am stable I am just in a perpetual funk.