I know he didn't do right, but he meant well. That's why I'm hurting so bad. It happened so suddenly.

I told him months before this that I was worried about having to start over, that he would decide he didn't like me, or that he was moving to Santa Fe, or that he didn't want to be a therapist. He assured me that none of those things would happen.

Then I tell him some terrible awful disgusting thing, and THE NEXT WEEK he tells me he's leaving.

Like, I'm such a ****ing disgusting patient that I made him decide he didn't want to be a therapist.

EDIT: Tigergirl, we cross-posted. I know LOGICALLY that he had to stop seeing patients, but he DIDN'T have to decide that he wasn't going to continue in private practice. I know he only had like 5 or 6 patients (pretty sure that's pretty typical, as a full time student AND having another full time job). I figure there's at LEAST a 20% chance that it was ME - more if you count the fact that I was PROBABLY the craziest/most disturbed patient, with bi-polar and borderline personalty traits, not to mention cutting behaviors and frequent suicide idealizations and occasional threats.