I have been dealing with depression for a while, but it has gotten worse since I moved back to my home state. Everything is going wrong. I have five kids and I am single. I have been seeing my primary doctor, who has prescribed me meds. I need therapy but i live in rural area and cannot go where i want to go, so I finally call the place in my area and they tell me they cannot see me until August, I won't need an appointment by then because I will probably have a complete breakdown and end it. I also found out today that I am up for SSDI review and two days ago when I was at my daughter's softball game my son may have ingested some medication. My 17 and 14 year old were babysitting. Anyway the paramedics came and the police. They took him to the hospital and we stayed overnight, he had not effects. Now I have been reported to child protective services and the police officer told me I can be charged. I just don't know how much more I can handle my life. I cry everyday, feel hopeless, helpless, and empty. I feel even more hopeless knowing I cannot find a therapist. I am really thinking about letting my husband have the kids for a while, but that will kill me too.