I get this making you anxious. It makes me tad anxious because I'm not at the point some people are. I see T once a week and occasionally email her and it's all very casual. But inside I have long craved a deeper relationship with people in a T-ish role (mostly teachers) and so read and posting in these forums is addicting to me. To me it reminds me of how, when a teenage girl is romantically infatuated with some guy she wants to talk about him all the time and read romance novels that relate to her situation and such

This is the only thing to read that relates to my situation :P

And I went for years without that. I thought I was abnormal until this past summer. So it makes me anxious, but at the same time it shows me I'm not a freak for having these feelings in the past and it shows me that if I start to have them more intensely for T, it will be OK at some point.