Just wanted to give safe hugs and I hope you start feeling better soon!! It's soo tough-therapy is the hardest thing anyone could do-and you are being sooo courageous to work through things with your T-he seems like he is great for you!!
It was tough reading your post because of the line "my inner kid wants him to be my dad" I get that sooo deelpy...my little girl inside of me would want nothing more than to have him as my daddy...I have thought-I wish I could go back in time and that he would adopt me-but that I will still have my mom-shoot they could even get married-mom deserves the husband she never had anyways!! ugg...soo I get it-and just wanted to let you know Ill be thinking about ya as you are going through this!! Hang in there : )
Also-about the not leaving part...the past two session I have cried hysterically to him that I didn't want to leave...it's sooo draining.