That's a tough problem and I hope you get someone who can give you a better answer than I can on the primary questions. It's hard to know what you're doing wrong or if you're doing anything wrong based on the info provided.
Pragmatism.
Find or develop your own social group. Everyone doesn't expect as much as you think they do. If you're not just straightup obnoxious you can find friends and a social group to hang out with.