Quote:
Originally Posted by without
Hi all.
I about 8 months ago became friends with a guy,artist, via net, we became really good friends we shared alot i really liked him.
he told me from the first he's the type of person who doesn't ask what he wants. he's afraid what others may say.
and he said he isn't good at relationships because he treats girls like boys and i said i have no problem with that.i don't like girlish stuff anyways.
anyways before we met eachother i said maybe i can ask him out and he said no he doesn't want a relationship.he's just not ready and doesn't have the energy.
also he said he has never been in love.
we met a couple of times it was really good, he actually gave me some really cool stuff and bought me cute things.
we talked practically every day for some hours.
at first it wasn't that obvious he wouldn't mind but he wouldn't let me say i miss him .he said he wants to suppress his feelings.no answer to why.
but after a while he just said he doesn't feel right and he didn't talk to me much.I knew he used Fluvoxamine 100 and mostly haloperidol but i never asked what for.and at some point i know he was taking anti OCDs,anti depressants,anti schisophrenias for hypochondriac ...but not really sure do they give all of these to someone with hypochondriac?
anyway i about read depression and bipolar,and thought its just an episode and i was supportive and just asked him every once in a while to see eachother that he refused.
after awhile he got better he was more social but he added some girls just to flirt and i got sad and i told him about it.he said hes not ready and it shouldn't stop him from having sex..but nothing will happen.
and after he said if he wants any relationship it will be with me.that was a month ago.
some weeks after he got worse,avoided me, it was like he's adding any b**** and just wants to make me sad...i told him and i got sad and he said he doesn't like to give any explanation to anybody ,talked very mean.
i said i don't want any but its just makes me sad because i like him more than friends.and he said sorry he has changed his mind and he prefers bad and slutty girls now.and he doesn't want to date me nor see me again there's no point in seeing.we don't match.and he doesn't want to let anyone get close to him.
anyway it broke my heart he said we can be cyber friends and with no talking about emotions but i couldn't do it.
it seems that now he isn't flirting that much anymore...
is there any mental disease that a person will act like this?schizo or ocd?i didn't he like me or just changed his mind?
he mentioned sth about bipolar but he said its just what he thinks he may have.but the drugs were prescribed for sth i didn't ask what.
|
Hi,
First I want to say that I can understand why you're hurt.
Some people may not consider that a long amount of time, but 8 months is in my opinion.
From my perspective (being a guy) it sounds like he just wanted you for sex. Maybe you'll be able to explain otherwise, but that's my opinion based on what you've posted.
I'm going to point out some things that led me to believe that he just wanted sex, maybe it'll help it all make sense to you.
Quote:
and he said he isn't good at relationships because he treats girls like boys and i said i have no problem with that.i don't like girlish stuff anyways.
anyways before we met eachother i said maybe i can ask him out and he said no he doesn't want a relationship.he's just not ready and doesn't have the energy.
|
He said he isn't good at relationships, then he said he doesn't want one because he "Doesn't have the energy"
Quote:
we met a couple of times it was really good, he actually gave me some really cool stuff and bought me cute things.
we talked practically every day for some hours.
at first it wasn't that obvious he wouldn't mind but he wouldn't let me say i miss him .he said he wants to suppress his feelings.no answer to why.
|
He was probably trying to impress you by buying you things, I'm not too sure though.
He doesn't want you to get too emotionally attached to him and vice versa. The emotional attachment part has to do with the fact that some girls who want relationships won't "put out" until they feel that the guy is officially their boyfriend, that's because they feel that this is the best way so they won't get used.
Quote:
after awhile he got better he was more social but he added some girls just to flirt and i got sad and i told him about it.he said hes not ready and it shouldn't stop him from having sex..but nothing will happen.
and after he said if he wants any relationship it will be with me.that was a month ago.
some weeks after he got worse,avoided me, it was like he's adding any b**** and just wants to make me sad...i told him and i got sad and he said he doesn't like to give any explanation to anybody ,talked very mean.
i said i don't want any but its just makes me sad because i like him more than friends.and he said sorry he has changed his mind and he prefers bad and slutty girls now.and he doesn't want to date me nor see me again there's no point in seeing.we don't match.and he doesn't want to let anyone get close to him.
|
His comments on "Slutty Girls" and the fact that he doesn't want to see you, definitely show me that he just wanted you for sex. He wants girls like that because he can get sex and not have any emotional attachment or feel obligated to a partner by being in a relationship.
Again, he doesn't want to let anyone get close to him simply because he wants sex and nothing else.
I'm not trying to make you feel bad for not noticing this, so please don't take any of this the wrong way.
You actually did quite well with this situation, you didn't just let him sleep with you and get away with no emotional attachment.
Being a guy, and knowing guys that are just interested in casual sex, and having friends that actually want a relationship.
I can tell you this, this guy just wanted casual sex, that's all.
I'm sure he figured you were cute and he thought it wouldn't take too much to get you into bed. He probably even pretends to be moody just because a lot of girls are into that sort of thing. Trust me, guys aren't always as they appear. We pay attention to what girls are into, and some of us choose to "act" just so we can get what we want.
My friends that are willing to get into a relationship are willing to express themselves, listen, talk, and just enjoy a woman's company.
They won't outright tell you that they don't want a relationship, and that's because they are willing to have one but they want to see if they would be comfortable in a long term one with the girl they are seeing.
Some girls mistake them as being the type of guys that just want sex!
It's crazy! They don't put on a big act.
Let me tell you a personal story,
There was a girl I met that said that "we were just friends" on the second date! She didn't even get to know me other than having two meals.
I was like
She told me there was no "chemistry".
I still know her, we are still kinda friends. We go do stuff from time to time, but she's still single and looking. Her standards are WAYYYYY High, she wants someone who is going to cater to her just like her dad does.
What the hell was my point? lol. Oh yes, she falls for sad, moody stories.
Try again with another guy, don't fall for the sad story. The sad story is just a game that guys play, no guy who was real would tell you that B.S.
It's different for girls, girls are sometimes honest when they tell a guy something like that.
But guys? No, it's a tactic to reel you in after you get to know him.
Anyway, I better stop giving you inside info. before someone finds out and bans me from the inner circle of men.
If something I wrote didn't make sense then let me know and I'll be happy to clarify. I could be wrong, but I've got a strong feeling he just wanted sex. Those are tactics I've been too upfront to use, but some guys like those tricks to pressure girls.
Don't try to get close to him again, he will use that to get you to do what he wants. That's why he closed the door on you. It's another trick.