I hope you can find ways to cope. I am currently depressed, on Max dose of meds my p-doc will give me and feel unable to control my emotions. There are a few things that ease the pain for a little. Doing something good for myself or something that helps me feel competent. For me that's music, but I hope you can find something that you can do that distracts you.

I also use a lot of self-talk like "this feeling is temporary. Feelings come and go. I do not need to act on my feeling.". Basically it sucks to have to work so hard when you're sick, but it seems that it's necessary to help keep from falling apart completely.

I hope you can find ways to cope with the intense feelings. I'm trying to find a way out of the tunnel too