And people make it clear I should be grateful he even looked at me cos I'm a filthy rape victim. The fact that he didn't force me to have sex with him makes him a perfect guy whereas I'm the guilty one, ungrateful cold *****.

I'm curious about those people who think you should be grateful to be having consensual sex with a guy. I certainly hope these are not friends of yours! This guy is definitely not perfect but sometimes relationships just don't work out. He may be one of those guys who just disappears (some do, they just can't handle confrontation) but you shouldn't blame yourself for his failings. Honestly, until you find the relationship that does work, they will all end in some way or another...and, you may go through a bunch of them. At 23, you are not kid. BUT, you are still young and there is NOTHING wrong with you if you don't have a boyfriend. For Pete's sake, you're working on your masters and probably have tons of other stuff going on....I'm not sure how recently the rape happened, but it may not be your time to date...it may be time to just focus on yourself and getting as healthy as you can be....