Ya, but mental illness or not it can be a confussing choice to make. First of all our society kind of dictates how we should feel about it, it can be a pretty loaded topic. Second of course you just want to make sure you are doing the right thing. It is a huge decision to make, either way.

I'm glad your tests were negative. Home pregnancy tests are pretty accurate now, as long as they are taken long enough after the fact. I'd still get to the dr's and have one to be 100% sure, and if that's also negative you need to find out why. If your underweight you really ought to have some blood work done up. You don't need to be anorexic or emancipated to be malnourished, you don't even need to be underweight.

When I went and got my blood done up I was extremely anemic, low in vitamins A,k, calcium, magnesium and B's were low too. If you are deficient it will affect your mental health as well. Not to mention that when tour BMI is on the low side your heart can actually shrink along with tons of other problems. It's really important to take care of yourself and make sure you are getting enough of what your body needs.

Try not to punish yourself over how you feel. I think sometimes half of how we feel, is because we are told that's what we should feel. When my father died I didn't cry for the longest time, I felt way different then what I'm told you should feel. I felt horrible, beat myself up over it. But I soon realize that my feelings are what they are, and they are that way for a reason. Not because I'm horrible.