Thanks for the input and support, everybody. What a great forum I found!

I will look on that link, Althea. I really did hunt for PTSD counselors, years ago. I asked everybody I knew, looked up the AMA on the internet and emailed people there to ask...I did everything I could think of, then. No results. Of course, if I could find someone now, I'd have to find someone who has an "ability to pay" program, since I'm unemployed. Therapy can be expensive and I'm living on unemployment, at the moment.

Thanks, Sky, for asking how I'm doing. I always do better on Saturday. I worry about everything (making money, my future, my learned helplessness, etc.) during the week, but give myself a day off on Saturday. There are gardening shows & cooking shows on tv all day, where I live. When I have nothing else to do (like a class to take or some chore), I sit and look at my new catalogs (I'm a catalog junkie), watch the cooking & gardening shows, maybe cook or clean up my place a bit, take a nap, if I can (I'm a terrible insomniac). I vacuumed today (in spite of a strained back. But the cats are shedding their Winter coat, so it's gotta be done...) I'm allowing myself some no-pressure time to just sit, read, whatever. It helps.

Next week I have surgery to focus on (skin cancer). But that's not until Friday. So I have to at least make an effort to look for work during the week, even if I'd have to have the 16th off. It's a juggling act, but I feel too guilty if I don't at least send out resumes, go on interviews (if there are any). It's not career stuff, it's about paying rent. But it's got to be done.

I just wish I knew how to get unstuck and make some kind of decision as to what to do with myself, career-wise/lifestyle-wise. The worst guilt is about the wasted time. If I were 25 it wouldn't be so bad. I'd know I (probably) had time to make decisions. At my age, time is a commodity that's slipping away. It's a luxury I don't have.