The reasons your mom is treating you bad HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU or how you act or what you do.

I know from my own experience, I went into my marriage not wanting to have children. I wasn't happy when I found myself pregnant even though I was married. I was in college working on my degree & had plans for a future career, not being a stay at home mom (the comment in my day was "being barefoot, pregnant & in the kitchen"). I didn't have that instinct they say every woman has for having children.

However, I didn't believe in having an abortion either......I really loved my daughter.....& I never put my daughter down or undermined her. I always supported her even though my life didn't go the way I had originally planned.....but I still ended up graduating & having my career......but it was difficult.

I can only imagine how more horrible it could have been for my daughter if I had treated her the way your mother is treating you. Just guessing, but you were probably the unplanned child that really messed up plans that she might have had for her life after your older sister who might have been planned or more wanted in her life.

It doesn't make the way she's treating you right....there is nothing about what your mother is doing that is right......because as you try so hard to please her & continually feel rejected....it's a feeling you will probably end up keeping with you throughout your life unless you are able to come to terms with it & know that it's NOT about YOU.....but it's your mother's issues that are causing her to treat you the way she is treating you. It's not easy to find your self worth from within & not let what your mother is doing effect you.....but it's important that you understand that it is the issues (whatever they are) that your mother is dealing with in her own life that is causing the way she treats you & it's not what you are doing.

When I was growing up many many years ago, we had a neighbor family that had 2 boys.....the oldest was their fair hair boy.....their youngest couldn't do anything right in their eyes even though he excelled in school & was a wonderful boy (I grew up with them like my brothers since I was an only child). To this day, there is a complete broken relationship between the youngest & his family.

I know it's hard to tolerate parents when they are treating you horrible because it's like we are trapped in their prison......but one day you will be free to leave. If you can hold onto the knowledge that you are ok & your mother is the one with the issues in the way she's treating you & try to develop skills to get you through this without the emotional damage that this can cause, you will end up being much stronger & more able to handle difficult situations long into your adult life.

It's important to hold onto the knowledge that you can't make someone like you even if that someone is your parents.....the ones that are supposed to care & protect no matter what......some people all you can do is tolerate while you are forced to be around them & then in the long run if they come around & realize the bad way they were treating you & ask for forgiveness, & you know it's heart felt......you can then try letting the relationship heal.....otherwise....that distance is there because of the way they are treating you....not anything to do with how hard you have tried to be accepted by them.

Ugh, I hope this makes some kind of sense.....basically there is nothing you can do to change how your mother is treating you....what ever underlying issues she has is what's causing that & not you....it's changes she will have to make in her attitude & her life that will have to change before she will change & all you really can do is survive without allowing it to cause you to feel guilty for the way she's treating you & causing you to have a low self-esteem.