My issue is more to do with health issues and how they destroyed my libido, how I felt about my body and the fact that I have also had a lot of pain in that area so a lot of the time it's out of the question....so completely different....

But my other issue is of being controlled by someone else...ie feeling under obligation to them....almost like a fear of rape...that that person has rights over you etc....when I feel it's completely mutual, no pressure etc I'm fine with it....even if I do have to fake being in the mood....at least I'm faking it cos I want to not cos the guy is going to throw a strop or leave me if I don't....I get screwed up about this....can you relate....or is it more to do with guilt....

I'm almost the opposite....can't imagine feeling guilty about sex....but I have felt guilty about NOT wanting sex....worry about letting the other person down....that they'll get bored etc...even though it's not my fault it's cos of health stuff. think my issue is mainly to do with the emotional impact of my physical illness and on the other hand some fears and issues I have because of a relationship I had in my teens where I was treated with not much respect.... like just a "bird" who was for "shagging" and has a duty to do that whether she wants to or not....regardless of the fact it was eating away at me emotionally (I know it's icky but I think I rushed into that situation when I was a teenager and I don't think I was ready emotionally) but I think that has left me with some issues now....particularly since this health stuff has come up.....

Could your issue be similar.....to do with being controlled by a man as though you are a lesser being to him.....rather than a guilt thing?

Then I have other issues, more OCD like....such as "Do I really even fancy men? Do I feel like this cos I'm really gay? Should I be having a relationship with a man in the first place? Am I really suppressing my true sexuality?" etc etc etc.....

My mind is a messy place.....