"I learned to be an introvert in order to survive since my mother was bipolar and had grand mall seizures..."

Wow, what a small world we live in. Your mother and mine sound like they could be related with the same above issues. I can relate to the need to isolate and keep to yourself, in my case it was to keep the peace and prevent her from freaking out and physically attacking me and my older brother. I agree with the above post suggesting therapy if you can. It helped me figure out alot of feelings and thought patterns that I didn't understand, like the need to just "shut up and don't make any waves", and my difficulties with trust and feeling like I can't be myself or let my guard down or else he/she will leave me. It's tough work and very painful at times, but it beats not knowing where any of it is coming from so you don't know how to change it or cope with it. Just know that you are definitely not alone and the support here isn't going anywhere. Please be kind to yourself and take good care. (((hugs)))