Happiness in your life usually reflects how YOU feel about YOURSELF. Happiness is in the eyes of the person perceiving it, & if you are tainted with self-doubt or issues with low self-worth, it doesn't matter what wonderful things may come your way-- You feel subconsciously damned to not feeling you deserve it. Or not being able to enjoy it as much as you could. And from what I've gathered through the sex addiction discussions & the discussions here, you don't tend to feel very highly of yourself. (Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong!) But... I've found that I have been dealt quite a ****** lot in my life. For some reason, even when I have lost my belief in ANYTHING, I still felt quite content & patient to fight through. And I've met quite a great deal of empowered & fulfilled athiests as well. Sometimes an important sign of personal happiness is being content with not knowing all of the mysteries of the universe: They just are & you will still endure without knowing them personally. You will still be well. : )