I've been dealing with bipolar since childhood. I've given it lots of thought as well, and I don't really know anything different. My first psychotic episodes were around 11 years old. I saw cousellors for being withdrawn and depressed by age 5. So to me it's kinda like my arms, my legs, my mind, soul... It's always been there so I don't consider my self crazy either, chemically imbalanced, maybe when I see hard proof, honestly I have no idea what it is, what's the cause, but I do know that it is just part of who I am. Probably always will be.

Is it an illness, a disorder, disease, or are we just a particular type of people who don't fit into the desired norm. That's where I get stuck. I'm not sure if I feel this way because my symptoms have been very resistant to medication or because science has failed to figure it out yet. Genetics, environmental, abnormalities in structure or function in the brain, all of the above. I dunno. But it doesn't really change anything for me either way.