kj44:
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[I]lost my therapist and Dr. due to no transportation, so, it was kind of me just telling myself, I can do it, without meds. .... Never really had a lot of friends, I think thats that bipolar thing, ugh!!
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You are very perceptive, kj44! All the worst bipolar pre-programmed messages are running through your head now, and maybe just simply having your meds back would go a long way toward helping to stabilize you if meds worked for you before.
Could you possibly connect with your old medical support by phone and acquaint them with your current status? IDK, but maybe some resources are available you're not aware of?